One of my favorite things to do with end-of-life (EOL) clients is to help them think through the ideal conditions for their EOL transition:
What view do they want to have from their bed?
What smells do they want to have permeating the space?
What people, pets, or objects do they want to have within reach?
What sounds do they want to hear to ease them into their final dying process?
It is often said that the sense of hearing is one of the last to leave the body when one is close to death. Upon learning this, I’ve had clients tell me they want to hear the sound of the ocean, the theme song from their favorite television program, or the words of their favorite religious passages read aloud as they take their last breaths. I recently worked with a client who collaborated with their loved ones to compile a Spotify playlist to play as they lay dying. The list was dominated by rowdy family favorites that inspired storytelling and a boisterous sing-a-long that surrounded the client with the kind of close and enthusiastic love they sought during their transition.
Inspired, I created a “Songs for Dying” playlist for myself. I started by putting hundreds of songs in the online collection, ranging from anthems from my teen and young adulthood, to high-spirited dance mixes, to more somber pieces. After my first run-through of the playlist, I realized that I needed to step back and consider the mood I’d want for my own death vigil space. I asked myself two questions:
“What are the emotions I think I’ll need or want to have when my time comes?”
“What emotions do I think I’ll want to help my loved ones express?”
The result? A two-hour Spotify playlist entitled “Songs for Dying” that starts with quiet instrumentals that often move me to tears, transitions into thoughtful folk ballads, which then lead to favorite pop music from across my lifespan before quieting returning to music for quiet contemplation. This includes songs like “Heaven Belongs to You” by Quincy Jones, “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” by Bob Dylan, and “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds. It is my hope that the music will help me relax and remember good times, while giving my loved ones the opportunity to laugh, sing, and cry.
What songs would you put on your personal “Songs for Dying” playlist?